What is to be done?

Hello, I’m Effemy Xitllali. It’s nice to have a platform of my own, outside of the algorithm; that allows me to share my thoughts and sharpen my writing voice :) We’re almost 2 months into the new year. Just like last year, and the one before it, I’m still holding on to hope as a catalyst for change and self determination.

A lot of the work I’m doing now is very different from the work that got me here, but the everything-ness of everything has been hitting me all-at-once lately. Now, after transitioning for 6 years and narrowly overcoming my 30yr life-span expectancy, a lot of work still needs to be done, but I feel more aligned in my journey and I urge my goals to reach me instead, I’m busy.

Since meeting Yessica and Michaé, I’ve I found love in strange places and solace in community. I have memories I can hold with people who see me. I’m here, both asking them for directions and choosing what my own destination will feel like when I get there. I’m arriving at being more patient with myself, because the work is never done, but change is inevitable, and time is constant. The work of surviving within the margins, the work to resist succumbing to terror, and the work of materializing the change I’d want to see for our youth; has felt like the never ending mission passed down from our trancestors, but I am the success of those ambitions.